Love and Hate
Things I love and hate about Lolita
Warning: opinions ahead.
1. Victorian Maiden. When I became interested in Lolita fashion I didn't really know anything about brands. I saw Kamikaze Girls and then knew about Baby, and when I went to Japan I learnt about Angelic Pretty and Bodyline. But through looking at EGL and the blogs, I found Victorian Maiden. I fell in love! Such beautiful detailing and such a cute model! I just adore the Classic Lolita style. It's much more wearable than any other style and it just appeals to my sensibilities so much. Victorian Maiden does Classic Lolita so well!
2. Stepping out with my baby. I am quite shy and don't like dressing over-the-top when I'm with friends or by myself. But when I'm with my boyfriend I love dressing up. He always wears lovely clothes and I love walking together arm-in-arm knowing that we both look great and that we deserve each other. I feel proud when I'm in my best with him.
3. Deco Alice A La Mode.
I found this magazine in Japan and now have the first 5! It's such a creative magazine, mixing up the style like nothing I've seen before or since. They dress their models in Lolita styles with a dose of Deco and it turns out looking amazing. I don't know if I could pull off these looks but the models look so natural and crazy and playful and fantastic!
4. Getting a dress in the post. It's a rare treat, but so lovely when it happens! The delivery guy comes to the door, and he has no idea what wonderful things the box holds, but I know that it holds a beautiful blouse that I've been planning how to co-ordinate for months! I love carefully undoing the sticky tape. I especially love it when the seller includes a note or a gift! Then pulling the dress out of the box and gasping in delight at how gorgeous the fabric is! It's always so luxurious! Then running to my room, throwing my clothes in a pile and carefully stepping into my new delight. I go through all my shoes, trying them all until I find the ones that look the best. Which tights will work with this dress and shoes? How will I wear my hair? Such fun!
5. Blogs. I love looking at Lolita blogs. I love looking at sewing posts, purchase posts, reviews, essays, advice. Sometimes they do say dumb stuff, and often they copy each other and repeat themselves (here I am doing a lolita meme), but generally I love looking at them. I particularly love well-done outfit posts and DIY posts.
6. Brand loyalty. It's just wonderful loving the brand you love. When girls wear their brand they wear it with such pride! People get so excited and thrilled when their brand releases new items! It's a lovely happy kind of feeling. Wearing a different brand just doesn't feel the same!
Similar to this is model loyalty. There was such an uproar when Innocent World changed their model to a new one who looked almost the same except a bit shorter and wider. I got really anxious recently when there was a new VM model on some items, but it's okay, the old model is still being used on the newest items. Phew. She's so cute!!
7. Stereotypical "lolita" interests. I love it because all of those "lolita" interests I was already interested in before I started wearing the clothes! I love classical music, sewing my own clothes, crochet, embroidery, tea, cakes, fashion, Japan, and reading. They're just typical "Christina" interests that just so happen to go with my fashion. Plus I love being polite and kind, which are attributes that a lolita is "supposed" to have, but it seems like a normal proportion actually possess.
8. Communities. Not that I actually interact much, and my local group doesn't have meetups often (the last one was nearly a year ago haha). But I love that on EGL and Sew_Loli and Daily_Lolita, people can ask questions and get honest answers, and people can have discussions and learn about the fashion. My favourite community is, of course, La Vie Classique, because people post when Classic Lolita brands have new releases, and when people are selling some Classic stuff. I also love the EGL Sales Community. It's hard for me to get bargains (everything's in America and there's a time difference, always asleep when the good things get sold!) but it's always interesting to have a look!
9. Lolita Secrets. Guilty pleasure! Some of the secrets are sad and some are nasty, but I'm always on the lookout for the secrets that crack me up. For example:
I saw this great secret this week about classic lolitas being like hipsters, and it was hilarious to look at all the rage that happened in the comments!
I thought it was cute to call us hipsters. We are! Some people were just SO OFFENDED!
10. It's so girly! Nobody is ever going to accidentally call me "sir" while I'm in my finery! (Not that it's ever happened…). It's just an excuse for me to indulge my girlishness and be as cute as possible!
1. The clothes are sometimes impractical. I do love being comfortable, and most Lolita clothes are just not. High collared blouses look great on me, but make me feel like I'm choking. Corset lacing looks gorgeous, but can be restrictive no matter how loosely you tie it. Shirring makes me feel uncomfortably tight around the middle. Petticoats are hard to function in. It's hard to go to the toilet in Lolita. It's stressful when you put so much into your outfit, because then you feel you have to be super careful not to wreck it. The fabric is often thick and hot. Corsets are ridiculously uncomfortable. Etc.
2. Angelic Pretty. Sorry everyone but I actually don't like anything this brand has ever produced. The colours are often sickening - gross greens and pinks that are just not classy. All their dresses have that gross lacing and shirring in the back that looks messy They all have horrible fronts with bows and lace all over them. Completely over-the-top and unflattering on any body.
3. Bad grammar and spelling on the blogs. What a silly thing to get so worked up over! But it is so widespread it's kind of depressing. People use way more apostrophes than necessary. Even if you're using a plural acronym, don't put in a rogue apostrophe! e.g CDs is correct, CD's is not. Apostrophes are to indicate ownership and contractions.
Another thing I've noticed recently is blogs that use incorrect sayings. Like, "for the time bean", or "for all intensive purposes". It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad.
4. People who don't appreciate it. I'm a musician studying performance. Occasionally, we do a concert where we get to wear "smart casual". Last time that happened, my teacher put in a word for me saying "Don't wear any of your floofy tutu dresses". Several things: as if I would dress inappropriately anyhow; and my petticoats are of the A-line, classic silhouette - nothing like a tutu. Imagine if I were a Sweet Lolita. He would wet his pants.
5. The emphasis on beauty can be exhausting and depressing. There are so many beautiful lolita bloggers. They always have perfectly coiffed hair and false eyelashes and are so lovely. I just can't achieve that look and it's depressing trying. My face just doesn't look like theirs! I suppose they take ages doing their hair and makeup and only put up the good photos.
6. Tea Party Shoes, in fact most lolita shoes.
Tea party shoes are super flat and wide, and are completely inelegant. I'm sure they're very comfy and easy to walk in. But, being quite a short person, I really need heels to not look like a child. Tea party shoes make legs look stumpy and dresses look too long. However! They are pretty cute and are more appropriate for tall girls, and do achieve a certain look. But SO NOT FOR ME.
7. The 'rules' and people who are bossy about them. I think it should be completely up to the individual how they wear their own clothes, and constructive criticism can be offered but can also be ignored. If it's hot, don't wear bloomers or a blouse underneath your dress. If you like, wear sneakers. I sometimes think that blouses under dresses look a bit school-marm-ish anyhow, and bloomers are a bit of overkill really. But - that's okay too! I don't like high-horses much, even though I suppose I get on one sometimes.
8. Everyone's so young! This really does get me down. I discovered Lolita somewhat late - when I was about 21. Everyone else seems to still be a teenager. I can never achieve that kind of youthful beauty because I'm just not that youthful anymore. However, I can still wear great clothes and feel good about them. And I'm by no means old!
9. Cyber bullying. Apparently people suffer from this? I've never been a victim because I don't really put myself out there to be attacked, but even if I did… would I get so upset about it? Maybe not. People only bully to upset you, so if you don't get upset, they won't bully right? Maybe? I don't know. It's awful anyhow.
10. I feel guilty about some of my purchases. I don't have nearly as big a wardrobe as many girls. But I do have quite a collection of VM now and I feel kind of guilty! I should be saving up for other things. I hate feeling guilty.
That's it! How depressing to end with some hate! Here's another thing I love then:
11. The exquisite detail on my dresses. Lace trim, ruffles around the collar, a delicate print, sweet waist ties, and silky lining. It all goes towards making your dress a piece of luxury that you are happy to wear.